The Smell of Success

Do you enjoy the smell of leftover Chinese food, questionably old pizza, and a consistent stream of coffee? If so, you'll love Pitch Mode, a revolutionary new cologne by the inventors of The Late Night. With hints of lavender, old laundry, and the limits of your creative and intellectual capacities, you'll experience the full rush of going headlong into your own pitch.

Side effects of this impressive new cologne include: accelerated aging, creative satisfaction, and hallucinations of strange concepts like Pilgrims Loving Crucifixion, severed hands holding together bra straps, and eye surgery for fruit flies.

Contact me for a sample.

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